Dismantling the belief:
What do you mean whenever you say or think, “Something is wrong with me?” Answering this question with precision (which we help you do in the remainder of this solution) is essential for eliminating the unhappiness and possible delusion this phrase brings.
We encourage you to do your own self-reflection but if you think about this phrase and how you use it, it’s often an indirect way of saying you’re imperfect. You might utter this phrase when you do something you think is unacceptable or shouldn’t have done. You might also use this phrase when you dislike something that you think is inherent to who you are or how you were born. In some cases, what you think is “unacceptable” is based on what other people say and think is unacceptable. If you don’t see anything wrong with the action but experience a tinge of emotional pain because you think other people find it unacceptable….do you personally want to live like that? If so, just recognize that you’re viewing the thoughts or verbal expressions of other people as reasons to feel bad. We aren’t always educated to see our negative feelings in this manner but that’s likely what’s going on.
In essence, we (all humans) often say something is wrong with us when we don’t meet some standard. This might be a standard we have for ourselves or a standard others have set that we think we have to meet. Often, when we don’t meet or surpass those standards, we unknowingly think we should feel bad about ourselves. Below is an illustration that summarizes what we’ve covered so far.
As we mentioned earlier, doesn’t “something is wrong with me” just mean you’re imperfect? The reality is you might not meet a standard you or others think is important, but you don’t have to view that reality as a reason to feel bad about yourself. If you’re not meeting a standard that you want to pass or meet in the future, then you can do whatever you need to do to improve yourself.
If you fall below a standard due to something difficult for you to change, like your height, you then have to decide if you’re going to feel bad about this reality or not. Before the awareness you have now, you may have automatically felt bad whenever you realized you fell below the bar for something you can or can’t change. Yes, there may be some people in the world that think you should feel bad for not meeting these standards but those are other humans who are not you. You get to decide whether you want to feel bad or not because it’s your life, your peace, and, thus, your choice.
If you decide to break out of the cycle of feeling bad because you don’t meet some kind of standard do know that some people may see that and think something is wrong with you. How ironic. You can smile on the inside knowing that you’ve transcended this way of thinking. Not everyone has this level of awareness, but you can play a role as a change agent by living your life with this newfound awareness and internal freedom.
If you’d like additional support working through this belief, we are here to help. Leave a post in the forum for this belief or you can reach out to us directly for 1on1 help.
Don’t forget you’re a unique human being
“All of us are born unique. This uniqueness is marked genetically in our DNA. We are a one-time phenomenon in the universe—our exact genetic makeup has never occurred before nor will it ever be repeated.” We like this quote from Robert Greene. Some people in society aren’t aware of this reality or for some reason, discourage others from being unique. They view the uniqueness of some individuals as evidence that something is wrong with them. With your new awareness, you can prepare for those moments and know that you’re a unique and imperfect human being who won’t let the opinions of people who don’t have your awareness make you feel bad about yourself anymore.
Audio Solution of how to dismantle the “something is wrong with me” belief
Problems this belief can give rise to:
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