The root cause of this anxiety trigger is likely the unknown belief that you should get or be anxious at the thought or idea of speaking with a shaky voice. A “shaky voice” typically occurs when someone is speaking while experiencing physical anxiety. You probably think that speaking with a shaky voice is “bad” or not ideal for one or more reasons.
Furthermore you likely dislike speaking (maybe even hate) speaking this way and would prefer to never speak with a shaky voice. The key to eliminating this trigger is to realize that, yes, you probably dislike speaking with a shaky voice, but you don’t have to see you speaking with a shaky voice as a reason for you to be anxious.
That’s not to say it’s likely something you know you dislike. This point of view is critical because we (humans) sometimes unknowingly think that things we intensely hate/dislike are things we should be or get anxious about. We take the level of hate almost as a rationale or justification that the anxiety is called for and should exist.
Knowingly or unknowingly, thinking that the thought of speaking with a shaky voice is something you should be anxious about causes your body to trigger anxiety whenever you think about speaking with a shaky voice or enter a situation where you think you might speak with a shaky voice. For more on why and how our body creates anxiety triggers from how we think, see the “What is the cause of anxiety link” in the recommended links section.
If you’re finding it difficult to accept that to get rid of this trigger (the possibility or actually speaking with a shaky voice) you have to acknowledge that despite disliking it and not wanting it to happen, it’s ok if it does happen, then you probably have 1 or more reasons (likely unconscious and unique to you) why you think you should be anxious at the thought or idea of speaking with a shaky voice. To address this, you will have to uncover these reasons so they are out in plain sight.
Uncovering these reasons alone may dissolve the trigger. In other cases, uncovering these reasons will reveal what happened to you (likely in the past) that led to you tagging the thought of speaking with a shaky voice as something to be anxious about. You may, for example, find that you think you should be anxious because the anxiety is a reminder that you dislike speaking with a shaky voice and don’t want it to happen. A core reason why you view the idea/thought of speaking with a shaky voice as something you should be anxious about may be because you think the anxiety is helpful to you in some way. Because of this, you will likely have to create a new strategy or response to the thought/idea of speaking with a shaky voice that doesn’t involve using anxiety. If/When you develop a new approach you believe is more effective than being or getting anxious, you will likely find it easier to give up the trigger. It’s not always straightforward what new strategy you should adopt, but we recommend that you use whatever goals you currently have to help you.
Eliminating the trigger: To get rid of this trigger you must recognize that whenever you (and all other humans) get anxious, you get anxious for one or more reasons. You may currently think anxiety comes out of nowhere or that there’s no identifiable reason for you we get triggered.
The “What is the cause of anxiety” link in the recommended reads uses science to show why humans get anxious and that it’s unlikely we get anxious for no reason.
In most cases, the trigger exists as a strategy to limit the number of times you speak with a shaky voice, but an oftern more effective strategy is to understand what exactly causes a shaky voice. Usually, a shaky voice is a result of speaking when you are uncomfortable or feeling anxious. If you can limit the number of times you get triggered with anxiety, you’ll have fewer shaky voice moments. Although not ideal, whenever you speak with a shaky voice, you can learn more about yourself by digging in to understand why you were anxious at that moment and then do the work to eliminate that trigger. As you eliminate your triggers you’ll naturally have less shaky voice moments.
Note: A resource for finding the root cause and eliminating an anxiety trigger is in the suggested reads section.
Recommended reads for overcoming social anxiety (link)
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