Science shows that humans are imperfect. Because of this, there’s a chance you may do things that, after the fact, you dislike. If you study mastery, you numerous masters go through a phase of producing work they dislike. If masters have to work through doing things they dislike, all people probably have to do the same.
Overcoming the trigger
To overcome this trigger–getting anxious when you’re a way you dislike–you can no longer view being a way you dislike as unacceptable or a reason to feel bad.
You may unknowingly think you should feel bad to show yourself and perhaps others that you dislike (maybe even hate) what you did. Additionally, you may think you should feel bad–unconsciously–as a way to motivate yourself to correct things in the future. This kind of thinking often overlooks the fact that you can change or want to change without feeling bad about something. We think you can prove this to yourself by reflecting on your life history.
Rely on natural motivation
It may take time to make all your desired changes since you have limited time or resources, but if natural motivation is there, you’ll make those changes with the grain of time.
If you aren’t motivated to do something, it’s possible you don’t really care or want to do what you say or think you want to do. This doesn’t mean you won’t be motivated to accomplish the outcome in the future. But for right now, the motivation isn’t there.
1When you lack motivation to do certain things you may think there’s something wrong with that, but why? There could be multiple reasons why you lack motivation to do something. For example, you may have different priorities or, because of your uniqueness, have no genuine interest in what you or others think you should be motivated to do. It can be easy to forget that all human beings are unique (based on DNA). If everyone is unique, it’s possible and perhaps likely that, at times, you and others will have unique interests that others won’t understand or have.
Feeling bad when you lack the motivation to do something
You may feel bad because others think you should be motivated. Some people may think that if you aren’t motivated, you should feel bad. Ultimately, these are opinions from other human beings–who are imperfect and humans just like you. This means that their opinion isn’t “right” or the truth.
As a unique human being, you may have goals that are driving your unique motivations. When you see this reality, you can internally decide that you won’t feel bad when you aren’t motivated to achieve goals others think you should.
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There’s more
If you struggle with low self-esteem, self-consciousness, low self-worth, or low self-confidence, we encourage you to view our self-help solutions for these and other common psychological challenges.
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- Lents NH. Human Errors: A Panorama of our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes. New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 01 May 2018.
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