If you ever or continually feel inadequate…what does being inadequate mean? How you define being inadequate could and likely differs from how someone else defines what being inadequate means.
You may use this word when you fall short of a standard you think is important. In the workplace, for example, you might say you’re inadequate if you don’t possess the skills or ability to do certain things.
As far as we know, science has yet to find a perfect human being, so lacking certain skills or the inability to do certain things isn’t why you feel inadequate. Rather, your feelings of inadequacy are a byproduct of how you interpret a shortcoming.
What does that mean?
Currently, you may unknowingly view being inadequate (however you define it) as unacceptable. If so, this is an important observation to catch (See, why viewing something as unacceptable creates anxiety).
Note: “Inadequate” is in quotes because how you define inadequate may differ from how someone else defines inadequate. The definition isn’t universal.
If, for example, you define being inadequate as falling short of a standard or being unable to do certain things, you may think that the best way to improve yourself and avoid being “inadequate” is to feel bad whenever you are. Rather than think that, you may knowingly or unknowingly believe that you’re supposed (or that it’s natural) to feel bad whenever you’re inadequate.
These ways of thinking may have motivated you or helped you grow in the past, but they often come with emotional and physical costs.
How to handle inadequacies
There is another way to live. Instead of feeling bad about an inadequacy you see, you can view it neutrally (accept it/be ok with it even though you dislike it) and decide what you’d like to do about it. If you want to change what you don’t like, you can do just that. You can work to change or address the situation.
If you don’t want to change anything, you can be ok with that without buying into the psychology that you’re supposed to feel bad whenever you see or overlook an inadequacy. Feeling inadequate is a learned way of thinking.
Reminder: You can’t improve everything at once
Humans are imperfect and have limited time and resources. The idea that you can fix several things at once does not align with how most organisms, entities, and humans operate. To understand this more, see “We Only Do So Much at Once.“
Businesses are examples of this. A business often has to choose its top priorities and focus its time there. Businesses that spread themselves across too many initiatives without the resources to do so often experience lackluster results.
If you reflect, you’ll likely see that the phenomenon of selecting and focusing on top priorities based on goals, available time, and resources is a principle of life that will benefit most, if not everyone, who abide by it. Feel free to leave an alternative point of view in the comments.
You may have unique goals and interests
Some things, like having a relationship, doing a certain job, etc, are viewed as must-haves, but why? Other humans, just like you, decided that these are things everyone should strive for, but why are the opinions of other humans more important than your own?
If, deep down, you don’t care about what others strive for or want, you may lack the drive to pursue those things. Rather than feel bad about that reality, you can recognize it for what it is. You have unique desires and interests.
Parts of society struggle to accept the uniqueness of human beings. Those who reject the uniqueness of others may want or expect unique individuals to feel ashamed of their uniqueness. When you recognize these are humans just like you, you can uniquely live without feeling bad about their opinions or expectations.
If you feel like you’re “inadequate” by a lot
If this is actually the case (based on how you define being inadequate), it may be a tough reality or pill to swallow, but that’s how things currently are. You still have a choice. You can choose to feel bad about the shortcoming or neutrally acknowledge your dislike for it.
Being neutral means you are “ok” with the inadequacy, even though you dislike or would prefer not to have it, instead of feeling bad about it. You must do this if your goal is emotional mastery and peace. Accepting inadequacies does not mean you like or prefer them.
After neutrally recognizing the inadequacy, you can strategize how to address it.
Some people may think or believe you’re inadequate
If these people knew what they meant by calling you inadequate, they would know that unless they’re perfect, they are likely inadequate in some way.
Even if they were perfect, how does it benefit your life to care whether they think you’re inadequate? If you have reasons, please share.
Lastly, verify whether it’s helpful to call yourself or use the word ‘inadequate’. Others may use that word, but you don’t have to.
Root cause limiting beliefs you may have to dismantle:
Have anything to add?
Let us know if you think we missed anything or have anything to add.
