If you ever or continually feel inadequate, it’ll be helpful to reflect and define what being inadequate means to you. How you define being inadequate could and likely differs from how another person in the world defines being inadequate.
In many cases, you likely mean that you fall short of a standard you think is important. In the workplace, for example, you might say you’re inadequate if you don’t possess the skills or ability to do certain things.
Being “inadequate” by lacking or not being able to do something isn’t the root problem. Rather, it’s what you do when you recognize or become aware of an inadequacy. Currently, you may unknowingly view being inadequate (however you define it) as unacceptable. If so, this is an important observation to catch (See, why viewing something as unacceptable creates anxiety).
Note: “Inadequate” is in quotes because how you define inadequate may differ from how someone else defines inadequate. The definition isn’t universal.
You might–before now–think that the best way to improve yourself and avoid being “inadequate” is to feel bad whenever you perceive yourself as being or doing something inadequate. This approach may have motivated you to better yourself in the past, but it also has emotional and physical costs.
How to handle inadequacies
There is another way to live. Instead of feeling bad about any inadequacy you see, you can view it neutrally (accept it/be ok with it even though you dislike it) and decide what you’d like to do about it. If you want to change what you don’t like or failed to do, change or address the situation.. If you don’t want to change anything, you can take ownership of that fact without buying into the psychology that you’re supposed to feel bad about overlooking an inadequacy. Babies aren’t born feeling inadequate about things. Feeling inadequate is a learned way of thinking.
You can’t improve everything at once
Humans are imperfect and have a limited amount of time and resources. The idea that you can fix several things at once does not align with how most organisms, entities, and humans operate. See, “We Only Do So Much at Once.“
Businesses show this reality as well. A business often has to choose its top priorities and focus its time there. If it spreads itself across too many initiatives without the resources to do so, the business often suffers. If you reflect, you’ll likely see that the phenomenon of selecting and focusing on top priorities based on current goals, available time, and resources is a principle of life that will benefit most, if not everyone, to try and live by. Feel free to leave a comment if you don’t.
You may have unique goals and interests
Some things like having a relationship, doing a certain job, etc are viewed as must-haves but why? Other humans just like you decided that these are things everyone should strive for but why are the opinions of other humans more important than your opinion?
If deep down, you don’t care about the things others do, you may not have the drive to go after what others chase. This proves that you’re a unique human being. This uniqueness explains why you’re different than others.
Parts of society struggle with accepting that humans are unique with unique wishes, dreams, and goals. Those who refuse to accept the uniqueness of others want or expect unique individuals to feel ashamed of their uniqueness. When you recognize these are humans just like you, you can uniquely live without feeling bad about it.
If you feel like you’re “inadequate” by a lot
If this is actually the case (based on how you define being inadequate), it may be a tough reality or pill to swallow, but that’s how things currently are. You still have a choice. You can choose to feel bad about the shortcoming or acknowledge your dislike for it and remain neutral about it. Being neutral means you decide to be “ok” with the inadequacy instead of feeling bad about it. You must do this if your goal is emotional mastery and peace. Accepting inadequacies does not mean you like or prefer them.
After acceptance, you can strategize how to address the inadequacy. It’s tough to improve what you don’t or can’t look at. The inability to be neutral about shortcomings is what makes it difficult to analyze and strategize how to improve yourself.
Some people may think or believe you’re inadequate
Those people probably don’t know what they mean when they view others as inadequate. If they did, they would know that they, too, are likely inadequate in some way. Why? They’re not god and are an imperfect human being like everyone else.
Even if they were perfect, how does it benefit your life to care whether they think you’re inadequate? If you have reasons, please share.
Lastly, verify if it’s helpful to call yourself or use the word inadequate. Others may use that word, but you don’t have to. Rather, you can note any shortcomings or dislikes you have and address those shortcomings (in some cases, you may ignore them if they aren’t worth it to you) however you’d like.
Root cause limiting beliefs you may have to dismantle:
Have anything to add?
Let us know if you think we missed anything or have anything to add.
