How to handle not doing things that are commonly seen or expected of you

This fear often comes from an unconscious assumption that there is a universal rule book of human nature. There are several religious texts that suggest how people should live but people sometimes overlook that these texts were written by humans. Some of the writers of those texts claim that they were inspired by God which may or may not be true but is it fair that their God wants you to take them at their word rather than you having hard evidence of the divine inspiration for yourself?

This is not to say that insights in these books aren’t sometimes helpful but there are people who read these texts and try to pass their interpretations on to others as truth. There are times when you may disagree with their interpretation even when they claim their interpretation is from God. When this happens, we encourage you to remember that they are a human just like you. There is no reason why their opinion should outweigh yours which is why some people claim, “What I say is from God,” but unless you can verify that yourself, we encourage you to follow what you think is right or aligns with your goals. Otherwise, you’re listening to another human and may be doing something that negatively impacts the ability to achieve your goals. Some of these people share perspectives that benefit them and neglect your wants and needs. This has happened historically with several “gurus.”

How do we know right from wrong?

Especially if there is no human rulebook? If we let other humans define what is right or wrong, we are internally declaring that their opinion is more important than our own. Rather than fixate on right and wrong we suggest you use the law of fair exchange to determine if something you want to do creates a win-win and also helps you acheive the goals and outcomes you desire. You can also use your internal sense of what you think is right and wrong to inform your decisions. Keep in mind: Life is largely about striving for what you want and when its not, you’ll often find that you may be striving for something someone else wants.

Some people knowingly or unknowingly believe in a human rule book

Because of this, some people may view your actions and behaviors as “wrong.” Some of these people were raised to label certain things as “good” or “bad” without understanding why; in some cases, if they knew why, they wouldn’t agree with the reasonings. 

Overcoming this trigger will likely require you to have this awareness and decide that you’ll no longer feel bad if people think you are a way or did an action that breaks a human law they abide by or think exists. If we (humans) ) think we should feel bad or that their opinion is right, then we are likely are elevating their opinion above our own. 

Their opinion doesn’t impact whether you have skills/abilities/etc that are required for you to get what you want. If the people passing judgment on you are truly impacting your ability to get what you want, you will likely have to strategize how to get into a different environment that will make it easier for you to achieve your goals. This may take some time and thought but such efforts often yield more psychological benefits than doing nothing or thinking your situation can’t change. We acknowledge that some people can be in incredibly difficult situations.

Note that when you rise above the psychology of a human rulebook or right and wrong thinking, you may make those who believe in a rulebook uncomfortable. Their discomfort is from them believing something you don’t, which they probably don’t have rock-solid evidence for. 

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