What does it mean for something to be wrong with you? Answering this question is important (which we help you do in the remainder of this solution) for dismantling and overcoming this belief. We encourage you to refelct on everything in this post.
If you think about this phrase and how you use it, it’s often an indirect way of saying you’re imperfect. You might, for example, utter this phrase when you do something you think is unacceptable or something you shouldn’t have done. You might also use this phrase when you dislike something you were born with or some aspect of yourself.
In some cases, what you may think is “unacceptable” is based on what other people say and think is unacceptable. If you don’t see anything wrong with something you do or did, but experience emotional pain because you think others would or do find it unacceptable….do you want their opinion to dictate how you feel? If so, recognize that you’re viewing the thoughts or verbal expressions of other people as reasons to feel bad.
In essence, we (all humans) often say something is wrong with us when we don’t meet some standard. This might be standards we set for ourselves or ones we think we have to meet.
When we don’t meet or surpass those standards, we unknowingly view that as a reason to feel bad about ourselves. Below is an illustration that summarizes what has been covered so far.
As mentioned earlier, doesn’t “something is wrong with me” just mean you’re imperfect? There may be times when you don’t meet a standard you or others think is important, but that doesn’t mean you have to view falling short as a reason to feel bad about yourself. You can do whatever you need to do to improve yourself and meet the standard in the future.
If you fall below a standard for something difficult for you to change, like your height, you don’t have to feel bad about that reality, despite how undesirable it is. Before the awareness you have now, you may have automatically felt bad whenever you had fallen short of a standard you can or can’t do anything about.
Some people believe in feeling bad
Some people may think you should feel bad for missing these standards, but those are other humans just like you.
If you decide to stop thinking this way, some people may, ironically, think there’s something wrong with you. You can smile on the inside knowing that you’ve transcended this way of thinking.
If you’d like additional support working through this belief, we are here to help. Leave a comment or contact us directly for 1on1 help.
Don’t forget you’re a unique human being
“All of us are born unique. This uniqueness is marked genetically in our DNA. We are a one-time phenomenon in the universe—our exact genetic makeup has never occurred before nor will it ever be repeated.” We like this quote from Robert Greene. Some people in society aren’t aware of this reality or for some reason, discourage others from being unique. They view the uniqueness of individuals as evidence that something is wrong with them. With your new awareness, you can prepare for those opinions and know that you’re a unique and imperfect human — like everyone else1 — who won’t let others’ opinions make you feel bad about yourself.
Audio Solution of how to dismantle the “something is wrong with me” belief
Problems this belief can give rise to:
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- Lents NH. Human Errors: A Panorama of our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes. New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 01 May 2018.
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